Las Vegas Lunacy

A coupla’ weeks ago I travelled to Las Vegas with my co-workers to celebrate the 10^th anniversary of the company we work for.  Interestingly enough, we all came home with marital status unchanged and dignity more or less intact.  But we do know things about each other now that perhaps, you don’t need to know about your colleagues. 

Las Vegas is .. well … Las Vegas. It’s delightfully over the top and ridiculous.  The people-watching is amazing, until you realise you’re starting to become one of them. You pause for a moment and in a strange shift of the universe, you find that perhaps it’s not that bizarre at all.  Somehow it becomes perfectly acceptable for people to be drinking beverages out of plastic guitars hanging from their necks. What? Doesn't everyone imbibe while shopping in a mall in the middle of the day?  Las Vegas Lunacy sets in and common sense exists no more.

Case in point: I’m not a gambler by any stretch, but I was going to Las Vegas after all, so had a “budget” of $50-$100 to gamble with.  What that really means is that I was ok with throwing this amount of money down the drain with no expectation of receiving anything in return.  Was there any pleasure to be had from hitting a button on a slot machine? It’s not even like the good old days at Sun City where you’d pull the lever of the “one armed bandit”.  One evening I wiled away some time pressing said button on a slot machine, starting out with a $20 bill.  Then another, and I don’t even remember if there was a 3^rd bill going up in smoke. Won some, lost some, won some, lost it all over the course of about 30 minutes with no sense of loss or remorse.

Odd that I’d be willing to do this so nonchalantly, but walk away from a pair of hiking boots that I’d wear for 5 years because they’re $50 more than I wanted to spend. Why is our logic regarding money so warped sometimes? One might think that this is insanity is restricted to Las Vegas Lunacy, but sadly, it happens even at home.  I am content to pay $4 for less than ½ litre of water at a theatre or sports arena, but I lament endlessly about gas costing $1.16 per litre.  This scenario is even more ridiculous because water is available free of charge in the faucets in any number of sinks at these theatres or arena.

Back to Las Vegas.  As you know, drinks are served free of charge to patrons in the casino.  Ideally they want to keep you there, gambling.  Even if you're just sitting at a slot machine, your beverage of choice will appear as if by magic at no charge.  Now should you want a beverage and there is no ridiculously-attired waitress to be seen, and you choose to wander over to a bar for your beverage instead, it costs full price.  So if you sit over there, 10 feet away, it's free, but if you come over here, it costs real money?  The crazy part is that no one bats an eyelid, because its Las Vegas Lunacy of course.

Then there's the buffet phenomenon.  Food is readily available everywhere, but in Las Vegas the preferred way to eat is at a buffet.  The first step of this process usually involves a long line up, where everyone waits patiently, drooling in anticipation.  An hour later you are seated, but you only sit down for 7 seconds before racing over to the buffet for meal number one.  Las Vegas Lunacy dictates that proper buffet-protocol calls for no less than four trips back to the buffet. Is anyone actually eating 4 servings of breakfast at home? And who's eating prime-rib and sushi with dessert for breakfast anyway? It's Vegas, baby!!

Las Vegas Lunacy was also responsible for a shopping extravaganza that included three pairs of footwear, one of which would be best reserved for someone employed in the sex-trade. There was also a dress in the shopping bags I came home with. A dress?!?! For me?!?!?  Perhaps sleep deprivation was to blame? I clearly had a bad case of Las Vegas Lunacy.