The Village that Raised my Kid

Snowshoeing on Mt. Seymour in the sunshine

Where I grew up in South Africa, you are raised by your parents along with neighbors, aunts, grandparents and with help from maids. My daughter who turns 19 today was brought up mostly in Vancouver, where we have no family.  We left family and friends in Toronto for the temperate weather on the West Coast and for rumors of a laid-back lifestyle.

The first few years my mother lived with us, so my daughter had the luxury of being cared for by a doting grandmother.  I came home from work everyday to a new finger-paint creation, or a new craft project - most of them equally hideous, but I'm sure they had fun doing them. Eventually I traded in the full time job for the juggling act of working from home and raising my child. My mother passed away almost 8 years ago and we've moved a few times since we moved to the west coast.

Looking back over the years, I am so grateful to all the people who impacted our lives along the way.  So many people who came through our lives and contributed to who Ayesha is today.  There were Guide leaders who wiped her tears at camp and teachers who sent her home beaming with pride.  There was Erin's grandma who had to be the alternate emergency contact at elementary school because we knew no one else. There was Mike the guitar teacher -with the best moustache ever and the gnarliest fingers shaped by years of guitar playing - who turned my child into a musician.  There was Mrs. Buss who taught her to read - talk about lifetime gifts!!

The teacher who stands out the most is Mr. Evans, her teacher in Grade 4 and 5, who was somehow able to bring out the best in all his students.  At a Grade 5 camp we got to meet Mrs. Evans, who is quite possibly the kindest, sweetest person I have ever met.  For a number of years we stayed connected but time and distance challenged that connection. Last year I ran into them on the seawall at Stanley Park and they hadn't changed a bit: they were still just as wonderful as when they were first a part of our lives. I walked away feeling so grateful to know these people and for the role they played in raising my child.

There was Norm the basketball coach who taught a bunch of girls the most elementary basketball skills with unbelievable patience. Later there was Dr. Mike who coached basketball on a Sunday night.  Yes their daughters played too, but my child and a whole bunch of other kids got to learn from these kind, generous coaches who chose to spend their time sharing their love of sports with young women, and made a difference in who these women would become.

Competing at Worlds in France - photo cr. P. Valade

I could not possibly write about the people in Ayesha's life without talking about Andrew.  Ayesha went to climbing camp for a week in the summer ... about 9 years ago.  Andrew introduced her to his passion for the sport, and little did I know that week would change the path of our lives.  From a week of climbing camp, Ayesha has gone on to compete at international climbing competitions in Austria, France, Australia and Ecuador.  Without climbing, we would never have traveled to these amazing places and had such unbelievable experience with such great people. I believe that climbing will always be a part of Ayesha's life and I hope so will the people we have met along the way.

Through all those years of climbing Ayesha has had Andrew to turn to.  Andrew somehow knows what Ayesha needs - whether its to get over a training hurdle or a life hurdle. His instincts are right on and he has always been able to guide her to make her own decision.  I am eternally grateful to Andrew for every time my child came home from climbing with a big grin and started a story with "I love Andrew".

Ayesha is celebrating her birthday on a climbing trip in Bishop, CA today with people who I hope will also be a part of her life. Speaking of Bishop, there's Andy and Lisa.  Andy and his wife Lisa run a summer camp climbing program in California.  We stumbled upon their program while looking up everything about Chris Sharma when Ayesha was 12.  The next summer Ayesha went to climbing camp with Chris Sharma. If you don't know who Chris Sharma is, it would be a like going to hockey camp with Wayne Gretzky.

I sent my child - who'd only ever been to Guide camp in White Rock - off to climbing camp in the Sierra Nevada mountains with people I didn't know at all.  She wanted so desperately to go that I took a chance.  Ayesha came home filthy, with a huge grin raving about how great Andy and Lisa was.  Chris was great, but Lisa and Andy was who Ayesha really fell in love with. They shared the genuine love of climbing and their warmth and kindness with their campers.  Andy gave them heck when they giggled too late at night keeping other campers awake and Lisa fussed over them with sunblock and hydration.  Ayesha  has been back to camp a number of times to spend time with Andy and Lisa.  While in Bishop on this trip, she will connect with them and I can't help but smile thinking of the people strangers who come into our lives and bring so much sunshine with them.

I could write 1,000 more words about people she stayed with on climbing trips to Calgary and Banff, about people who came to her rescue when the alarm went off and her parents were in Italy, who rushed over when there was a stranger in yard - it was just the Telus man -, and all the parents who have driven her to practice, to camp, to a comp, or to training, or to Squamish more times than I can count.

For everyone in this village who raised my kid, I am so grateful.